Archive for March, 2008

Waiting for nothing?

I had mixed emotions yesterday. Been up all night the night before waiting for the BAR exam results to come out only to find out that it will come out the next day at noon. So yesterday when the clock struck the hour of noon I was on line and lo and behold so were 6,000 or more people I guess who were waiting for the results as well. 

I didn’t take the exam, but 3 of my friends did. And having witnessed what they went through during their mind draining review for 6 months and the jittery nerve wracking waiting period for another 6 months, who wouldn’t be as excited as they were to know the outcome. 

I prayed for them for this. I prayed with them at the prayer mountain. I was there alone when they were anti social and detached during their review period. I was left out when they wouldn’t even communicate through SMS because they were concentrating on the exams. I sent them snackables to their dormitories so they wouldn’t go hungry during their review. I sent them daily encouraging thoughts for inspiration for I know they may be feeling exhausted. To practically most of them, their life stopped when they were going thru the waiting period. For it seemed that whatever major decisions for the future that they would make… it would all depend on the outcome of the BAR.

When “D’ Day” came yesterday, I was sending them thoughts of encouragement. In their anxiety and anticipation, someone smoked 4 packs of cigarette in a matter of two hours. Another drank 4 grandes of beer in less than an hour, another turned off her cell phone and unhooked her phone, spent the day in front of the tube watching a marathon series of DVD movies since the night before, still one friend went to the mall and spent the day on a shopping spree, my two friends were in their offices trying so hard to concentrate on work but failed terribly and my other friend couldn’t even remember what he was doing.

These were stories of those who went thru the ordeal of waiting. For my friends, how I would wish deep in my heart that all of them would pass the BAR. If I could only move mountains for them…. but I couldn’t and now I feel at a terrible loss. I truly am happy that 2 of them passed. Yet my bestfriend of all didn’t. And all I could do was to be there for him without saying anything. For what could I say, encouraging words that may sound patronizing? If I had felt torn and devastated when I didn’t see his name on the list…. how do you think he felt when he was the one who took it? 

All I could do now is to make him realize that it’s not the end… and he is not alone in this. I hope he wouldn’t think he was waiting for nothing…. for maybe he is meant for something greater than what he was waiting for.    

A Little Inspiration

One breezy afternoon, my best friend and I decided to escape the stresses and demands of work and meet up for frappes and coffeecakes. As we were contentedly slurping our ice blended coffee concoctions topped with heavy whipped cream and idly watching passersby from our comfortable perch at the café…. she suddenly popped this question out of nowhere… “In these extremely confusing and disturbingly depressing events that are happening around us, where do we look for inspiration?” 

Hmmm.. where indeed?  

So this morning as I wait for the sun to rise for another day, I think that perhaps at this moment we all need a little or perhaps a great deal of inspiration. Don’t we? I know I need it badly. 

I have been lacking inspiration myself these days. It has seemed that the universe has conspired to give me nodes and humps on the road where I am trekking right now. Navigating thru these bumps on my path and stumbling so many times along the way has exhausted me and made me think not just a few times of just giving up. Maybe this isn’t where I’m supposed to be? But the Lord is adamant! When He wills it… He’ll really lead you there! He constantly sends me His reminders of His plans for me and present opportunities… straight to my face. I should trust Him… why won’t I anyway? I must keep the faith and find that joy and inspiration. 

I remember a quote from a book I read way back titled “How much joy can you take?”  The book said: “Inspiration is everywhere. Most of the time, though, we can’t see it. And it isn’t even that we don’t look; rather, we don’t know how to look.” 

We are living in an era that lacks gratitude. With what is happening in our country and the rest of the world… these are sad times. Hostility is ordinary. Hatred is familiar. In times when we are supposed to find laughter, humor is ironic; disillusionment is status quo. To wander outside and spend a moment enjoying the interesting way the rain makes puddles on the ground is considered a pointless and stupid thing to do. To be hip, we must be fast, cynical and powered up by the latest technology, whether it be anti-depressants or the latest gadgets. There is no time for reflection, so don’t even bother. “What’s that going to get you?” goes the popular thinking. 

A big part of our dilemma comes from our addiction to things – toys that beep and a ceaseless parade of gizmos that all seem designed to counteract with each other. Short-lived technologies, all of which are around to keep us entertained, distracted, utterly bored and anti-social. Another setback on our joy is perhaps the discontent that prevails in our lives. Nothing or no one will ever be good enough. But then… who will be and what will be? Contentment does not mean settling for what is there. It is accepting what is being given but never stopping to strive for more…. and never losing hope that one day things will be better.  

I once read this story about an artist who pioneered white-on-white minimalist painting. During one of his famous one-man shows he was asked how he started. He said, he was once a security guard in the museum of modern art. His ambition at that time was to be a jazz musician. But standing at the museum looking at the paintings on the walls day after day, began to get under his skin. And he realized that he was drawn to this art store he passes by everyday on his way to work. So one day he couldn’t resist it, he bought those materials and started his first painting… and the rest is history. What he has become at this point in his life… started from an idea that he had time to consider while standing guard in a great museum hour after hour, day after day. 

This story for me is one example of finding joy in our everyday surroundings. For it is here in plain boring “everyday” reality that the best ideas begin and ultimately the success we’ve always sought after.  I believe that finding joy ultimately begins with gratitude. We’ve got to perceive the life that unfolds around us as the rich source of information that it is. We’ve got to look at the perfect upheavals, coincidences, and crises of our life and the lives around us as what they really are – truly miraculous! 

We have to cut the stifling backchat about the “bad this, painful that” and instead begin to find solutions to a million different creative problems and possibilities. For if we just do, I’m sure we will find a treasure trove of connections and a vast network of supporters.  

It must be remembered that it was Beethoven’s massive fury with his deafness that made his Ninth Symphony the masterpiece that it is. 

To quote M. Scott Speck in his book “The road less traveled and beyond” he wrote, “indeed how one responds to adversity and good or bad luck may be one of the truest measures of our ability to grow into gratefulness. We can look at some bad luck as a blessing in disguise. We can also maintain a sense of humility and not take good luck for granted.” 

Do we complain about how bad the weather is most of the time or can we learn to appreciate the beauty and diversity of weather as a gift to us? If we are stuck in a traffic jam in a stormy rainy day, do we sit and curse or do we concentrate on the fact that we are blessed to have a car in the midst of a thunderstorm? Are we inclined to complain about our jobs and how bad business is doing rather than work on ways to improve our skills? 

We can all make a difference in our lives and the lives of those around us if we just learn to open our eyes and feel the world we live in. Where do we look for inspiration? Look around.  

Just remember this… 

“Be careful… for what we focus on also determines what we might miss”.     

Guy Crisis 101

What would you do… if that guy who means so much to you… who has completely changed your life the moment he walked into it… tell you that ummm actually you aren’t really “that” essential in his life all this time? When after you’ve told him he has become an important part of you and your life, he tells you that if ever things change and you’re gone from his life, he won’t waste his tears and go sleepless nights miserably missing you for although the relationship was special to him and of course you are important…. still it doesn’t necessarily mean that he’d stop breathing when you’re gone and have much difficulty getting on with his life without you…. for you’re not really that essential! Ouch! That hurts! 

What would you do… if just when you finally feel that you are ready to invest in a relationship for you have finally found the guy you have been praying heaven for coz’ he perfectly fits all “qualifications” you’ve been wanting in a man… without even mentioning that… those beach outings and daiquiris under the moonlight had made you fall hopelessly in love with him…. tells you that all that happened between you both were actually nothing to him at all? Zilch! That it had all been just your own illusions of romance, your fantasies of happy-ever-after, your own foolishness and silliness of reading too much into those sweet romantic kisses… ah and let’s not forget those 3 sugary words he whispers while looking into your eyes making that feminine mind of yours read into something too much and putting meaning into every touch… when in reality it was nothing but a shallow thing to him. Stop! Stop! my heart is bleeding! 

What would you do… if that guy you are passionate about and relentlessly think of every waking and rapid-eye-movement moments of your life… treats you like you’re easily dispensable? Like they can just cancel you out anytime! When suddenly they are faced with situations that catch them off guard, they treat you like you have abruptly ceased to exist in their world even though you’re actually still standing beside them looking stupid and feeling embarrassed. Please spare me…more pain!  

What would you do… if this guy who you care so much about, keeps you high up on seventh heaven when he tells you he cares for you as well, but when the time comes when you really need him to just be with you when your world is a mess and you are against all odds with everyone, you end up being rejected and ignored… rapidly crashing down to earth at hyper speed! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh CRASH! 

What would you do… if the guy in the center of your life causes you emotional trauma?  

My girl friends would unanimously answer…. #$@%&^#@!!!!! I will not even attempt to interpret! 

These situations I mentioned above are just a few of what comprises my tête-à-tête with my girlfriends. Men so often ask: what does a lady do when she is faced with the most traumatic experience of her life… usually involving a man every single time? 

After hours and endless hours of talking with friends from night till daybreak, while munching on whatever thing or sipping anything liquid with a straw; as I tag along them when they are caught in crisis situations… involving the male specie ALL THE TIME… this is my personal conclusion: Women cope with man-and-heart-involved traumatic situations in different ways. But one thing is sure and constant whatever the situation, she always follows the SEVEN BASIC RULES in Coping with a Guy Crisis! Read on!  

COCOFIG ENTHUSIAST

First thing she does is throw away those strict diet rules out of the window and go fulltime  over excessive intakes of Caffeine-Overdose-Calorie-Overload-Fat-Inducing-Gastronomic delights during her weeping sessions. Sometimes alone but misery loves company…. so most of the time these sessions are done with trusted COCOFIG ready friends! But of course though she may be in her weeping-while-ingesting-anything-edible mode she still follows the NUMBER ONE rule in Coping with a Guy Crisis: ALWAYS CRY IN PRIVATE! A real lady who has learned the true essence of poise and posture would die first before letting eavesdropping eyes see her in distress and worse… howling tears and hiccups! She would never give her estranged guy that satisfaction!

MALL MILITANT

If ingestion of anything edible is not her trip at the onset of the storm, the mall is her destination. She would tag along her MALL ready and trusted friend and armed with firm determination and mischievous smiles would ransack the Men’s Department store “discreetly and unintentionally” and walking away innocently without a care leaving behind topsy-turvy piles of clothing on the shelves and bewildered sales persons. When she and her co-conspirator have accomplished her first mission they would proceed to the main reason why they were there…. To peruse, critically discuss and dissect every aspect of the love-gone-south state of affairs while trying on almost all expensive items at the women’s boutiques and Ladies’ Department store. Having the sales persons pitifully waiting on them without reward since there was never any intention of buying anything expensive at all! After their mall rounds these two would then proceed to their favorite “UK” store and shop to their hearts content following the NUMBER TWO rule in Coping with a Guy Crisis: ALWAYS REWARD YOURSELF!  

FITNESS FANATIC

For some of our emotionally challenged sisters, foodstuff is out of the question! For her mission would be the firm resolve to make the man who wounded her heart fall on his knees and beg her to have him back in her arms! She would follow the NUMBER THREE rule in Coping with a Guy Crisis: ALWAYS FEEL and LOOK SEXY! It may just be for exercise but she would put on her sexiest working-out clothes and would head for the gym.. She would go for the extreme like running the treadmill for 2 hours and trying all weight machines for the next hour; then she would go jogging 20 rounds around the oval without stopping for breaths and proceed to join the taebo class without batting an eyelash. She would enroll in whatever dancercise class available: flamenco, salsa or belly dancing. She wouldn’t tire and the tight feel of her muscles would be a welcome respite. For she would be nearer her goal – more desirable! 

WILD ROAD MISTRESS

This type is dangerous around vehicles, and she wouldn’t care whether it’s a one-wheeled, two wheeled or 10-wheeled truck as long as it runs when she turns on the ignition! Let’s just pray it wouldn’t be a 10 wheeler truck! For if she is a licensed driver she would jump in the nearest vehicle available and let it go for a ride! And like any of the abovementioned type of female she also has her own tag along passenger-gone-mad ready friend and together they would go joy riding traversing the busy streets as she drives like a maniac on the loose while furiously cursing under her breath in between detailed analysis and rationalizations of her “love-life-gone-south” situation over tears and hysterical laughter following the NUMBER FOUR rule in Coping with a Guy Crisis: GO WILD YOU DESERVE IT!   

WICKED WITCH

This sister of the female kingdom is more mild mannered… she just turns into a schizophrenic! Going around in her month old pajamas with red rimmed puffy eyes and sticky hair… she stares at her phone or cell phones (her type usually owns 3. One for every network…. just to make sure her man gets to reach her) for hours on end and jumps out of her skin when it rings… she watches the mailbox every hour and her heart skips a beat when a delivery van passes by. She develops a mild case of psychopathic behavior bordering into intense paranoia…. it usually takes her 30 – 45 days before the tear ducks dry up and the sniffles finally subside… then her ultimate moment arrives as the  wicked witch takes over. She would spend her time at her favorite salon and have a major make over as she secretly plots her revenge against the poor bastard oops! sorry… pathetic son of a $@#%! who had caused her emotional breakdown. NUMBER FIVE and SIX rules in Coping with a Guy Crisis: ALWAYS KEEP YOUR CALM AFTER THE STORM and TIME TO GET EVEN! 

BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY

After she has gone thru the eye of the storm she emerges triumphant! A butterfly ready to take flight once more! Beautiful, prepared and whole again! All set to take on the world and conquer! She can take her guy back if she deems him worthy or she will opt to fly over new pastures! It’s her choice! That’s her freedom! She knows that the bees will be hovering nearby! She has followed the SEVENTH RULE in Coping with a Guy Crisis: REJOICE, BE HAPPY and MOVE ON GIRL!

Guy Crisi 101! There’s much to be learned!   

By: Sofia